Tell children divorce dating step by step process of carbon dating
They wanted me to hear about every jab and knockout punch they'd exchanged. It was one of the few things Dad threw into his bag when he left Mom's house a year ago. He stopped sleeping through the night after he and Mom separated.
Dad had wanted me to come over to his new place to show me his Fender Strat, a guitar he had just bought. I didn't realize how little alone time I'd spent with my father until the split. Mom, with her hair long and blond and pushed back in a headband.
Now, when I'm alone with him, I worry we won't have enough to say. Mom, who now wears plunging necklines even when she cleans the kitchen.
She and I got into a fight before I left for Dad's this afternoon. "What are you going to do," she said, "go over there and badmouth me?
I got married this past summer, and I'd like to believe I'm going to be one of the lucky ones.
You might accept and forgive one aspect of your parents' divorce, but then something else happens—maybe Dad asks you to meet the woman he's dating—and you have an entirely new set of circumstances to deal with. She is around my dad's age—I'd worried that she would be a young tart. We start arguing and I say, "I just don't think you're much of a mother to me anymore." A year earlier I'd promised myself I'd never say things like this to her again. When we get back home, we settle on opposite sides of the couch. But I guess this isn't about accepting that my parents are no longer together.
Dad is giddy when I walk into my aunt Junie's house one evening two years after the split. She makes a quick U-turn in the middle of the highway and nearly gets us killed. At some point, I realize, the way Mom acted during the divorce became the real source of my anger.
This article was adapted from her book, The Way They Were: Dealing With Your Parents' Divorce After a Lifetime of Marriage, published this year by Three Rivers Press, a division of Random House Inc.
Sometime after parents separate and often before they divorce, at least one begins to date.